Dressed in dapper wool through the streets of San Francisco

Oh my what did they do to that bicycle!

Posted By on February 21, 2010

Last evening a few of us ventured to the Roxie to see a film about bicycles. Fine volunteers for the SFBC were on hand to valet our bicycles as we went into the theater. Before I continue let me first say that the Roxie is a fine establishment, and I don’t know who tricked them into letting this depraved film be shown. The film we went to see Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound presented by the people of Bike Smut.

One would think any film with the word bike in the title would be innocent. But no the lot who crafted this moving picture are beyond immoral! I’ve never seen so many bicycles and bicyclists so tied up and violated! People ridden like bicycles and bicycles ridden like people!

My friends and I were so shocked by it all that we must have been overcome by paralysis—that is the only excuse I can offer why we did not run from such a debauched assault of our senses.

The film is playing one last time in the East Bay, 9pm tonight at the Roll Up Bike Shop in Oakland. The price is $8, and is of course a 21+ event. I urge all decent people to stay away for you may walk away never looking at a set of handlebars the same way again!

For those who doubt me what follows is the trailer for this movie. I warn you ladies and gentlemen, the trailer is nearly as explicit as the movie.